I am Still Here!

Hi, friends!

I am still here!  How about you?

COVID changed my family’s life so drastically and rapidly that it took all my emotional, spiritual, and physical energy the past 4 months to simply survive as we navigated new waters together. 

Financially, our income significantly dropped.  Florida completely shut down on St. Patrick’s Day, which is right in the middle of our busy tourist season.  Two, our fiery 1st grader came home for spring break and never went back to school.  We had to figure out virtual learning together, in addition to her simply being home now 24/7.  As an only child, she was lonely.  And as I mentioned, she is a firecracker (nice word to describe a future leader).  Parenting her is like trying to harness the wind.  Finally, I still had optical classes full-time virtually, so I needed half the day to attend and study.  So, all 3 of us completely changed our daily schedules and lives over 2 weeks.  Just a little added stress.

I am happy and proud to report we are all 3 still alive and have not killed one another*, I am still sober (23 months - hooray!), we are healthy, and I finally feel we are back into a groove.  

How are you doing out there?  Regardless of where you stand on current events, I know we all are collectively more stressed out now than we were 6 months ago.  How are you coping?  I hope well.  I learned a great tool to help me in recovery I would like to share with you.  All you need to remember is H.A.L.T.

What is H.A.L.T. and when do you use it?  I use it any time I feel a craving coming on, regardless of the addiction.  If I crave alcohol, for example, I mentally ask myself the following before I open that bottle of wine – am I:

Hungry?

Angry?

Lonely?

Tired?

10 times out of 10, I am one or more of those things.  I will stop for a few minutes and drink some water or get a bite to eat.  I realize I am upset with someone, so I allow myself time to cool down.  Maybe I am simply bored (which falls into the lonely category in my mind) and looking for something to do.  I may just need to talk to a friend for a few minutes to get something off my chest.  Finally, I may just be tired and need to go to bed, put the phone down to relax my eyes, or just rest for a bit.

In other words, I need to take care of myself.  Ugh.  Why is that so hard for us to do?!

Cravings are more intense, and we are more likely to give in to addictions when we need something.  Once I stop to take care of my own basic needs, I find my craving significantly reduces or diminishes completely.  It is that simple. 

Taking care of ourselves is simple, but simple does not always equal easy. 

We need to stop and take care of ourselves now more than ever.  Our emotional, spiritual, and physical wellness are tightly entwined; they depend on and affect the others.

I hope you try H.A.L.T., and I hope it works for you.  It is one tool in my recovery arsenal, but it is the first one I go to each time.  It helps me take care of myself first.

What tools do you use to combat your COVID stress?

Sending you love & light,

Heather

ShesNotQuiteRight.com

P.S.* I am joking here when I say we did not kill one another, but domestic violence significantly increased during the COVID quarantine.  Stress causes people to do crazy things and exacerbates underlying relationship issues. 

If you feel such high stress that you fear you may hurt your family, please reach out for help.  Here is a great resource: https://www.thehotline.org/help/for-abusive-partners/.

If you or your children are afraid of your partner, please reach out here: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

(XO – Heather)